05 Oct 016 Dating with Confidence
I work with amazing women every day to get them back on track and date with confidence and ease, attract the right people for them – and create the relationships that they want. And though my Dating Coach practice I speak to a lot of truly amazing and inspiring women who are looking for the one person they want to be with and have the connected and committed relationship they’re looking for. And many of them have one thing in common – they often feel that their own confidence is really not what it can be or should be to “get out there”, meet new people and create new connections.
So today we’re going to talk about Confidence – and more specifically about ‘Dating with Confidence’.
Your confidence in yourself and your ability and capacity to navigate the dating scene and attract and choose the right partner for you is integral to the kind of results you’re getting on your dating journey. In this episode I talk about the importance of having a confident dating mindset and also introduce a special free resource to help you pinpoint where you may be getting stuck and what you can do about it.
Like so many of the women speak to I know what it’s like to live an outwardly successful life and be successful a particular career and have great friends and travel – but still having the internal struggle of starting to doubt yourself and your own ability to find the relationship for you.
When I got divorced in my mid-thirties I found that the unshakable confidence I had in my twenties that life would work out the way I planned was seriously being called into question. Suddenly I was older, I still wanted to have children and at the same time still want to heavily invest in my career.
I felt bombarded by messages especially via the media that I was pretty much ‘past my time’ then and that it would be pretty much almost impossible to find somebody I want to be with.
Add to this the many stories and conversations of awful dates, online dating horror stories and my own experiences of really under-par dates it was a pretty depressing picture. I really felt that I couldn’t bothered in some ways with all of this and thoughts of being alone forever became more and more frequent.
If you know a little bit about me you’d know that today I’m totally blissfully married again and very much loved up so none of those dark thoughts actually came true. Life turned out very differently from how I planned – but I believe that’s part of the beauty of it all
It wasn’t all that easy – and I had to face up to some hard truths and few reality checks about my own role in all of this. In the years since I have learnt what is truly necessary to create and build the relationship of my dreams – and it all started with me way back then.
I realised at the time that almost everything that was showing up externally in my life was the result of my internal state – it was just a reflection of what was going on inside me.
I had a real confidence crisis – and even deeper than that I real lack of self belief or any belief that my future could in fact be the way I wanted it to be. At the time I was looking more and more for external ways to build my confidence – and it was pretty superficial in many ways as it was more focussed on how I looked, what I was wearing, where I was going and ways to create and curate a great external impression.
The real turning point came when I realised that none of these external ‘strategies’ were going to create any real change for me – because inside I was still struggling with the same stuff. And that wasn’t going to change unless I did the work on myself that I needed to do. I’m not saying that how you look and feel is not important – but there is a step before that.
I realised that there was one crucial shift I had to make – and unless I was going to do that I was never going to get what I want.
If you find yourself going something similar at the moment I’ve created a special free resource for you.
It’s called the Dating with Confidence Audio Training Series + the Self Assessment and Workbook. It is designed to help you pinpoint where you may be getting stuck on your dating journey – and to identify what you can do differently in future to get to where you really want to be.
The Assessment itself is a series of questions to give you your personal Dating with Confidence score – and you will see that it’s not based on superficial strategies, tips and tactics but it actually digs a little deeper into what may be really going on for you – underneath the surface. It is based on some of the key principles of what I believe to be the foundation for finding the relationship you’re looking for – starting with the most important relationship you will ever have: your relationship with yourself.
In this free training you will learn:
•The one shift you must make to transform your dating and relationship journey – and why it’s crucial to your success
•Pinpoint where you may be getting stuck – it may not be what you think
•7 Factors that may be sabotaging your dating and relationship success
•10 Steps you can take to navigate the dating scene with confidence and ease
I understand that the whole ‘dating process’ and finding the person you want to spend your life with can be draining and I often hear from clients who feel overwhelmed, confused and just plain exhausted at times. The other side of course, is that dating can also be a lot of fun, especially if you do it from a place of strength, confidence and clarity.
Remember – your confidence in yourself and your ability and capacity to navigate the dating scene and attract and choose the right partner for you is integral to the kind of results you’re getting on your dating journey.
Don’t ever doubt your ability to attract the right person for you, don’t even think of lowering your standards; or buy into the myth that you may be too picky, or that you would not find somebody on your level.
I don’t know your circumstances – but I want you to know that I hear you. You’re not alone.
And I want you to know that there is so much you can do to completely turn your unsuccessful dating experiences around.
I am here to show you how. I know you can do it – and I know you can have the relationship you’re looking for.
Maybe it’s time to stop listening to all the conflicting and confusing superficial dating tips, advice and strategies out there and just focus on what truly matters to you – your personal journey and your next steps.
So check out this free Dating with Confidence training and let it help you pinpoint what those next steps are.
I’m here for you and I know and believe that you can have the relationship you want. If I can do this I can know you can too.