Ready for Love Podcast Interview with Dating Coach Ané Auret and Rebecca Perkins
043 3 Steps to effortless relationships - with Rebecca Perkins

043 3 Steps to Effortless Relationships – with Midlife Coach Rebecca Perkins


Rebecca Perkins, The Midlife Coach is the co-founder of Irresistible Dating and author of Best Knickers Always: 50 Lessons for Midlife – and she’s absolutely passionate about reinventing midlife.

Following her divorce, Rebecca found herself single at 45, and set about online dating.  She loves sharing her experience and expertise as a coach with clients, guiding them into the right mindset for dating success. Midlife has taught her to be open-minded, to take more risks, to enjoy the simple things and to live each and every day with the question, ‘If not now, when?’ She lives by the sea in South Wales and enjoys celebrating life after 50.

As much as we tried to keep this interview to a more reasonable length we just couldn’t stop talking 🙂  – so yes it’s a bit of a marathon session, but I hope you find as much value and inspiration as I did in listening to Rebecca’s story and her wonderful wisdom and experience she so generously shares.

It really is a real-life story of reinvention and reconnection to self, to our truth and that inner guiding light that keeps us going no matter what. 

Aside from Rebecca’s 3 Steps to Effortless Relationships we also talk about:

  • Rebecca’s definition and views on Midlife and ‘midlife’ crisis’ – we compare notes between being almost 42 and 54 (but still feeling like we’re in our twenties!)


  • Why does it take a crisis to wake us up and why do we let ourselves go to the point where this needs to be happen before we ‘get back to ourselves’


  • The perils of getting ‘comfortable in our discomfort’ and being ‘ok’ with things just being ‘ok’


  • How good life can be when we’re fully awake to it


  • The power of asking ourselves the right questions and being aware of the stories we tell ourselves


  • The poignant story behind the title of Rebecca’s book:  “Best Knickers Always – 50 Lessons for Midlife“


  • How the first relationship after a divorce can sometimes exacerbate the unresolved pain, grief and trauma of a divorce


  • Rebecca shares her own journey of suffering depression and going through her own divorce experience


  • Trusting that there truly is a light at the end of the tunnel and that something beautiful and different can come out of your darkest days


  • Midlife dating and the biggest hurdle and mistake some people make as they embark on their midlife dating journey + the only question you really need to ask yourself when dating


  • What do people do that are successful at midlife dating


3 Steps to creating, maintaining and building effortless relationships (starts at 37.45)

We go into a lot more detail on each of these points so grab your notebook and a cup of tea and stay with us for a bit:


1.  Reconnecting with yourself – what do you do when you start noticing a disconnect and how do come home to yourself


2.  Letting go of expectations – but HOW do we actually do it. How we project our expectations onto others and then get upset when people do not follow our ‘rules’; how we limit our potential for meeting people  (48:15)

*You can read this fabulous blog on this exact topic that Rebecca wrote for The Huffington Post recently:

The Secret to Ease and Success in Dating 


3.  We alone are responsible for how we feel and we are the creators of our own reality.  How your thinking about your dating experiences is creating your actual experiences.  (1:02:37)


Connect with Rebecca Perkins

Websites: |

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram

Group Training and Small Retreats 

Loving Midlife: Reconnecting with a Sense of Purpose

4 week online programme starting on Friday 6th October
Learn more here!

One day Midlife Reinvention workshops

Around the Dining Room Table with Rebecca Perkins 11th November and 13th January.
Learn More here!


Ebooks and online programmes |


Best Knickers always 50 Lessons for Midlife by Rebecca PerkinsBOOK

Best Knickers Always : 50 Lessons for Midlife by Rebecca Perkins

“Have you ever caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and wondered who is that woman staring back? Could your relationship do with a revamp? Or are you coping wth divorce and wondering if you can ever face dating again? Do you wonder where your confidence went? Do you have a little voice that says, ‘Oh I couldn’t, I’m too old/ unfit/ overweight/ tired?”

Available on Amazon

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